So all day I've been asking myself if I should have really went off. I think I should have. My therapist told me to write those types of things down and I told her that I do but usually not that far. Well, it is my true feelings about things. I have a very hard time understanding it. I have an even more hard understanding how those that have never been here for us feel like they have a right to see the kids- like we owe it to them. It just confuses me.
Our supporters know who you are. You've been great and not for one second do we not appreciate it. Yesterday I had therapy and the remainder of the night that was just stewing so I went there.
Now back to our everyday life...
I spoke to Gracie's Orthopedic today. Since there are not a lot of cases like Gracie's, she will have to do a lot of research and get back to me next week. One concern is Gracie not being big enough to do a skin graft. I asked her if they could take my skin but she said it usually isn't successful. I would much rather me have a missing chunk of skin because she has MSRA which she contracted in the NICU so there is always a worry of infection.
We had therapy today. We left there and went to the doctor for their one year vaccinations. It never gets any easier for them to get shots. It actually is worse!
Anyway, we are good. I wanted to say that because I'm sure some think I've lost my mind. You can only understand how we feel and felt if you ever go through what we did. Since having triplets is rare, I doubt you ever will. I think there are lessons to be learned from this and I don't believe it is just for Ricky and I. The amount of stress that we both have on our plates right now is enormous and has been since before the babies were born. I just feel like instead of lifting us up, we were either kicked while we were down or just left to deal with things alone. I will never be able to explain those dark hours in a way for anyone to understand. It is one thing that Ricky and I have carved in our being. So now it is time to heal from it, never forget but move on.
I will continue therapy and working through these things and taking care of my babies and family.
Krista
