Friday, September 30, 2011

September in pictures

Madi helping momma 
Madi "driving" (we were parked somewhere)


Brody at feeding therapy... talking about something :)
Just precious! Gracie getting her braces

Gracie being a big'in drinking out of a straw while waiting for therapy 

She was laughing bc what you don't see is Madi in their closet throwing all their books off their bookshelf 

My little man SMILING! and playing

Love when he is happy!! 
I must say, I'm so happy for September to be over. We've had a very challenging month with new diagnosis for the kids but I am sure October will be great! 
Brody's VI teacher came out yesterday. He will for sure qualify for services so we will add Vision therapy to our weekly routine which will look like this: Monday- Wednesday Occupational and Physical Therapy, Thursday Vision Therapy and we will be adding speech again soon but I'm not sure what day. Thursday afternoons will be our specialist appointments with doctors, Fridays will be free except when our Nutritionist comes out once per month. BUSY, BUSY!!! 
One of my college classes will be finishing in the next couple weeks but I have two more starting so no break there. It has actually not been that bad and the pros far out weigh the cons!!!! Remember, what keeps me going is my babies being there the day I walk across that stage with a degree!! 
Don't forget this Sunday is their Dedication at church. Contact me if  you have any questions. 

Krista 

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Break my heart and my babies will prove your wrong!!!

GRACIE ANN CRAWLED TODAY AT THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is MAJOR people! It was very hard work for her. It was written all over her face but she did it. She pushed through the tears and our little feisty firecracker did it! BOOOYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just love it when people say things won't happen or it will be next to impossible. Break my heart and my babies will prove you wrong! HA!
I didn't get any video or pictures because Madi and I were clapping our hands and screaming!!!! I just love how Madi cheers for them. There is such an incredible bond between the three of them that warms my heart.
In other news, Brody has a top tooth that has already broke the gum and is out. It is not the front but the one next to it on the right top.
Ricky and I are going to shoot guns at a local gun range on Saturday. I'm super excited since I've never shot a gun before.... ok well BB guns don't count. I hear it is a great stress reliever, let us all hope!

KP

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Therapy: Love/ Hate Relationship

I've started asking myself, how much therapy is too much? How many specialist are too many?
While I'm thankful that we have the people we do, I see my kids' babyhood/ childhood in front of me and it is not what it should be. For one, they love being at home, two, they have toys that seem like they are never played with- brand new sitting, waiting patiently for these three awesome kids to just play. We drive 45 minutes to therapy, Madi has to wait while Brody and Gracie get their workouts, then it's the 45 minute drive back home. Once we are home, it seems like it is time for dinner, baths, and then bed time. So basically, the only play time they have is in the morning before we have to start getting ready to leave. Keep in mind they eat two times before we leave and have snacks so really there is not a lot of free time to just play and be average 14 month old babies.
With that being said, Brody's Vision Therapist (VI) comes out this Thursday. I'm also looking at aquatic therapy and hippo therapy. We currently have Fridays off so I'm hoping we can continue to have that. I want so badly for the kids to catch up and drop all these therapies but I know we have a ways to go before that can happen. Until then, we will just keep on keeping on.

KP

Monday, September 26, 2011

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters {by Michael Mitchell

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.

20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The man who said it can't be done.... Should not interrupt the woman doing it.

Um.... so funny because it reminds me so much of me and Ricky and the way MEME is LOL (laugh out loud for those who don't know what LOL means) ;)


Hey everyone! I just finished all my homework and boy, it was a tough week! I made an 88 on one of my test and a 96 on the other. School takes a lot of time :)

Today we went to Kelsey's 4th birthday party! It was held at a park and Madi did so well swinging in a "big" baby swing. The other two.... not so much. When it was time for cupcakes, Madi grabbed a handful of icing of hers and then after head to toe icing, she ate two more.

Dare I say...... we actually have a pretty normal, not so bad week ahead.  BUT, the triplet stroller is still dead. We looked at slings on Saturday so I could just carry one and use the twin stroller but that is back breaking! so I didn't buy one. It should be real fun tomorrow when we arrive at therapy and I have to figure it out. Usually I like those sink or swim situations like when I took them all to the pool by myself. If you think about it to much, it will get way to overwhelming and then you won't just do it. And we all know that I JUST DO IT!

Brody seems to be laughing and smiling more (again). I think he just needed some time with his Daddy and protection from the girls. :)

Don't forget the Parent / Child Dedication at church is this Sunday at 11am. Email me if you want to go and I will give you all the details!!

Krista

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Jeremiah 1:5

Gracie Ann,

I need to tell you something incredibly amazing. I need to write this to you so no detail goes unknown.
Today you had a follow up Urology appointment. But first I need to tell you about your little life before you were born.
When we first found out we were having triplets they were not sure that you would develop into and embryo. Week after week you did! Well at 19 weeks I went to the doctor to find out what the three of you were. That day we got really bad news. I've shared that a little bit in your birthday letter. Anyway, your kidneys did not work at all. Kidneys matter even while a baby is still in their mommy's tummy. You see, little babies swallow stuff call amniotic fluid. This helps little lungs develop. Basically, the amniotic fluid goes into the kidney, you go pee, and the cycle continues. Well, after many, many, many, many, ultrasounds and specialist appointments, your kidneys clear as day did not work. We would be told very sad news about how you would go to Heaven either before you were born with your brother and sister or right after you were born.
Well, cheer up buttercup because we got so lucky and you are here with us. You did have issues with your kidneys though. You had nephrosis of the kidneys. Basically your kidneys were enlarged and there was fluid in them. We even thought you would need surgery.
I need you to know how amazing your life is. You are a living miracle. Today we went for your follow up appointment and not only are your kidneys perfect, we don't have to ever see the Urologist again!
I need you to realize and understand what God has done in your life. I know you are still very young (14.5 months old) and you still have some struggles BUT girl friend, God has already done so much for you and for us and I can't wait to see what else He will do for you.
Gracie, people probably don't understand how major this is. They were not in that doctor's office when we were told the news. They didn't see the hours of ultrasound that showed no activity in the kidneys. Nope, only two other people in this world experienced that. Those people are your Daddy and your Meme. Those two people know how many mountains were moved to get you here, alive, healthy, feisty, full of life. And, I'm ok with that. All I need is for you to realize that you are a true gift from God and a true miracle.
Doctors wrote you off but God never did. Never forget that. He will never leave you. Your Daddy and I and the ones that love you so much are so blessed, so excited, so in love with you. I am so happy that I don't have to live this world without you in it.

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

It is my duty to God to make you realize these things. I will do my very best.

I love you with all my heart and kidneys :)

Love,
Mommy

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Happy Birthday to our favorite MEME in the world!!!!!! 


Monday, September 19, 2011

I am

I am STRONG because I am weak


I am BEAUTIFUL because I know my flaws


I am a LOVER because I'm a fighter


I am FEARLESS because I have been afraid


I am WISE because I have been foolish


.... and I can LAUGH because I've known sadness




This is what being a mom has been for me. 


Krista 

We WILL be OK

Well, it seems that we are doing a bit better here. I've finally found some strength, thank the Lord!
From the moment I found this it has been for Brody- the girls too but this is for Brody:
 If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.  -- Winnie the Pooh
I refuse to treat my kids like they are different from any other kid in the world. And yes we do have a handicap license plate but that does not mean they will get the easy lane in life from this momma. I believe that if you treat someone handicap then they will act handicap and I refuse to give in that easy. It is still hard for me to think that in just over a year and a half, I will be sending my little boy to elementary school but in the mean time, I'm going to continue to cherish my everyday with him. 
Miss Madi Faith has been discharged from Occupational/ feeding therapy. She is really doing so good with everything but walking and standing. The Physical Therapist is ordering foot/ ankle braces for her. They will be much smaller than Brody and Gracie's. Basically, she needs them because she is what every day people would consider flat footed. Her ankles go in and she walks like a penguin. The braces will help her get to walking! I'm so ready for her to walk so I can stop taking the triplet stroller and carry the twin one. It will make life much easier for me. 
Gracie screamed bloody murder for 2 therapy appointments today. Not because of anything other than she didn't want to be there. Our day started a little earlier than usual so that may have had something to do with it. 
Oh and in other news, the kids eat chicken nuggets now. Ricky made some yesterday and they loved it! 
Anyway, it has been an emotional roller coaster the past week but I am confident we will get through this. Ricky and I have been through so much since January '10. It seems like some crazy book I've been reading but just true life. Maybe one day it will be a book ???? that would be pretty cool! 

Have a great week! I've got a busy week with school so I will try to update as soon as possible!

Krista 

Sunday, September 18, 2011

searching

Isn't it so odd that out of everything thing we've been through with all three of the kids, this with Brody has knocked me down so hard? I still can't get up.
So, Ricky and I are pretty devastated to say the least. We have so many unknowns. Will Brody be able to drive a car? Will he ever live on his own or will he always live with us? How are we going to send our little 3 year old to school school? Do we need to send him to a special school for the blind? How do we communicate with him? Should we paint his room black and white so he can see better? What toys should we buy? What can we do right this minute to make life better for him?
I just want to throw up.
I can't accurately describe this other than to just say it; Brody is acting like his vision is way worse. Seriously, like crying all the time, grabbing on to us not letting go like he is so unaware of his surroundings, just so many things. It is heartbreaking! Did we not see this all along? Why is this all of a sudden? It is a fear- a huge elephant in the room that Ricky and I don't dare discuss because just talking about the future for Brody is nearly impossible. It's that lump in your throat that hurts so bad and it's the hottest tears you've ever cried.
I guess I just knew in some way that the kids would make it out of the hospital and be ok but this with Brody, I just don't know.
You know, some people say that kids that have sight issues from the very beginning just adjust and adapt without any issues. Well, I'm here to call BS on that because he cries because he can't see what is going on around him and it is too much sensory wise for him.
Dang it! I can't fix this. I've been doing research. I stay up till the early hours of the morning doing so but the more I find the more sad I am for him. I've got to find something that can help him at the very least feel comfortable with his home.

This has been my FAVORITE song for quite some time now but it is really my favorite now. I can listen to it all day. If you've never heard the song, you should look it up on You Tube.

Healer by Kari Jobe

You hold my every moment,
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire,
And heal all my disease
I trust in You,
I trust in You

I believe you're my Healer
I believe you are all I need
I believe
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

You hold my every moment,
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire,
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
Lord, I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I BELIEVE
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
Yes you are,
Yes you are
I believe you're my portion
I believe you're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need
More than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need
You're my Healer

Saturday, September 17, 2011

what the most amazing kids in the world are up to

Guess what??? All 3 of the kiddos are drinking out of a straw now! This is awesome and is really helping their liquid intake. They look so grown holding their cups and drinking away. I'll post pictures soon and maybe even a video since I got a new video camera for my birthday from Meme and Papa!
Ricky says he isn't sure how he feels about Madi's Kentucky waterfall also knows as a mullet. I think he is crazy because she does not have a mullet. Plus, any hair growth is welcome for her. Speaking of Madi, this girl is all over the place. She climbs everything! She really likes to climb onto the dishwasher while I'm doing dishes. I ask her all the time to get down but she doesn't want to. She loves to climb up her daddy and tries to get over the couch. It is her favorite game. She loves peek a boo and will laugh for a really long time. She claps her hands all the time and is learning some sign language in therapy. Speaking of therapy, she will start Physical Therapy this coming week. If you remember, she is only receiving Occupational Therapy at this time. Anyway, I feel like she needs PT since she isn't walking yet and with her being pretty much caught up, she should be walking by now. She has taken a total of two steps by herself and unassisted. Luckily, the first one was with me while her daddy was at work and the second one was yesterday with her daddy. So happy they show him all their new stuff too! Madi has 4 teeth on the top and two on the bottom. She is pretty much eating whatever we eat. She hates and I do mean hates milk. She tries to take her shirt off and put a "shirt" on. A shirt may be an actual shirt, sock, pants, clean diaper, you name it. She plays hard and sleeps harder. She does not like to be woke up and won't really interact with you if she wasn't ready to wake up.
Gracie will stand with her braces and shoes on. This is huge because for 14 months she only stood a hand full of times. The best part about the shoe and brace is that she does not scream during her therapies. She actually seems to enjoy them now. She smiles and claps all the time and it is so sweet. She gets around the house so well with her army crawling. She has perfected a tantrum and when I say she is perfect at it, I do mean it. It really could be anything that will set her off but the most common is if we don't give her food or drink in her time frame. She will slam herself back in her high chair and then throw herself to the side. All while screaming her head off without a single tear in her eye. At first we tried to talk her out of the situation but very quickly realized that she won't stop until she has what she wants. If the tantrum is too bad we will put her in her crib until she calms down. Recently this has happened and when I walked in 5 minutes later to check on her, she had her arms wide open, mouth wide open, and eyes wide open passed out! When  she is exhausted she sleeps with her eyes open. She really dislikes getting her gums brushed. She really loves just about all food and does not know when to stop eating. Usually she looks like she has a pot belly when she is done. She has such long hair compared to brother and sister and it sure is thick. I'm loving it because I can put bows in her hair without headbands and she almost always will keep them in. She really does not like to wear jeans. She loves just being in a onsie or dress. She is doing so much better about sucking her thumb. The same can't be said for the other two. She loves her puppy dog but from a distance and she will get ticked off if he gives her kisses. She still does not sleep very much. Quite honestly, I don't know how much she sleeps because if  I wake up in the middle of the night, I could very well find her up just laying in her crib being quiet.
Brody is now going from tummy to sit. He can army crawl like no one's business but usually will stay focused on whatever he is playing with. A lot of things are still overwhelming to him sensory wise. He is doing really well with his eye being patched. His favorite thing right now is letting his daddy hold him and not making him work at all. It drives me crazy of course but they both seem to love it. He ate peas today from a can. We really are not giving him baby food anymore. He just learned how to suck out of a straw 4 days ago and although it is still very early, he is doing a great job. Brody hates bath time and I do mean that. He will start screaming immediately and will not stop until he is out of the bath. He also does not like getting his two teeth brushed or his gums. He also does not like getting his hair brushed, ears cleaned, lotioned up, diaper changed, dressed, being jacked with in general. He really is happiest in his own little element being left alone by his sisters. Speaking of which, find it so fun to pull his glasses off, tug on them, etc. and both Gracie and Madi love to hold his hand but usually he hates it. He just wants to be left alone. I don't really like that much. I mean he needs to get use to so many people all the time. After all, we are a family of 5! He loves the noises of motorcycles or loud vehicles. The garbage truck is one of his favorites. I guess you can say he is all boy. Isn't it funny how kids come so equipped with the whole all boy or all girl thing? He does very well in therapy. He works very hard and does things I've never seen him do. Of course when we go home we won't even think about working or doing those things. The therapist tell me that is very normal. He doesn't even like to stand up at home but does his entire therapy session. What is up with that? He loves being outside. He is so happy outdoors. I hope we get some fall weather soon so he can be out more. He repeats words you say like yum, or if you fake cough he does too. There are so many things about him we've yet to learn. I think we will find out more and more as we go to different specialist. There is just something about him that seems to be a little different from his sisters.
I think we are going costume shopping this weekend. I have a couple of ideas for their outfits but want to look around. Madi also needs new shoes. Not sure why we didn't buy her a pair a couple of weeks ago when we were getting the other two theirs. The not so fun task of grocery shopping is also on the agenda. Oh and does anyone have any thoughts on what the kids should wear for their dedication at church? It's not a baptism so Meme and I were thinking just nice dresses and outfit for Brody... speaking of that, we received the invitations in the mail this week and I will be mailing those out soon. I actually need to request more invites. Contact me if you would like to attend. It is on October 2.
Our Nutritionist with ECI came out today. Brody lost weight for the month. We have no idea how since their daily calorie intake is around 1250 and normal range is 850-1000 calories per day. Madi now weighs more than Brody and little miss Gracie is still are itty bitty.
Brody 16 pounds 14 ounces- he was 17 pounds 6 ounces
Madi 16 pounds 15 ounces- she was 16 pounds 3 ounces
Gracie 16 pounds 2 ounces- she was 15 pounds 5 ounces
I also talked to her about Brody's visual team. She contacted the school district since they are the ones that provide service and we should have a visit this coming week. She also said that he will for sure start school at 3 years old. Kind of sad when I think about I really only have a year and a half left until he is away from me and the girls for a portion of the day. I just don't know if I will be ready to have my little 3 year old in school. Seems so not cool. It also makes me so freaking sad about his vision issues. Gosh, it sucks so bad. I read the state eye report from the Nova Clinic and wanted to throw up. His vision in his is 20/200 and the other is 20/960 that just makes me want to scream the F word. I also hate the boxes checked that say: Legally blind 20/200 or worse that to me equals the big F word, muscle function abnormal = F word, box that says "there is visual field restriction = F word, color vision abnormal = F word, and the last one that really makes me scream inside: This patient appears to have a serious visual loss after correction in a clinical setting. F, F, F, F. and a big FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
That's how this momma feels about it. And if it was not such a bad freaking word, I would just scream it so loud and write it everywhere! There isn't a single thing I can do to fix this for him and it makes me so crazy it's like an out of body experience. I just am so MAD inside. Why did they have to be born so early and why did my stupid body have to fail me and them? I'm just so MAD! I'm fighting with myself and I'm not winning and it makes me even more MAD! WHY him? WHY my son? He has been through enough! I just want to scream! Because I broke my promise to him. I promised him I would spend the rest of my life making up for his entrance into this world, that horrible hospital stay up to him and guess what, I can't! There is nothing I can do to fix this- what I done to him by having him so early. There is no one to blame for this but me. This was not any one's screw up but mine. I just don't know what I could have done differently. I just don't get why this road has to keep having these heartbreaking detours. F I just don't know!
I know I should just have faith and I do to a certain point. Faith is having some what comfort of his future with leaning, school, career, etc. But I just can't help where I'm at right now. He struggles every single day and every second of every single day. It sucks. How do I handle people treating him bad or different or the looks or comments? I just don't want it because I know I can't deal with it good. I know I will freak out on anything or anyone that treats him wrong. My brother said that the doctors have been wrong so many times before and they will be wrong about this too but just F. I don't know just F. I just want my kids to catch a break to not have to keep dealing with this kind of stuff.
I'm done writing. I don't know what else to say and I don't want to be all negative and that is all I can feel right now.

Krista