Isn't it so odd that out of everything thing we've been through with all three of the kids, this with Brody has knocked me down so hard? I still can't get up.
So, Ricky and I are pretty devastated to say the least. We have so many unknowns. Will Brody be able to drive a car? Will he ever live on his own or will he always live with us? How are we going to send our little 3 year old to school school? Do we need to send him to a special school for the blind? How do we communicate with him? Should we paint his room black and white so he can see better? What toys should we buy? What can we do right this minute to make life better for him?
I just want to throw up.
I can't accurately describe this other than to just say it; Brody is acting like his vision is way worse. Seriously, like crying all the time, grabbing on to us not letting go like he is so unaware of his surroundings, just so many things. It is heartbreaking! Did we not see this all along? Why is this all of a sudden? It is a fear- a huge elephant in the room that Ricky and I don't dare discuss because just talking about the future for Brody is nearly impossible. It's that lump in your throat that hurts so bad and it's the hottest tears you've ever cried.
I guess I just knew in some way that the kids would make it out of the hospital and be ok but this with Brody, I just don't know.
You know, some people say that kids that have sight issues from the very beginning just adjust and adapt without any issues. Well, I'm here to call BS on that because he cries because he can't see what is going on around him and it is too much sensory wise for him.
Dang it! I can't fix this. I've been doing research. I stay up till the early hours of the morning doing so but the more I find the more sad I am for him. I've got to find something that can help him at the very least feel comfortable with his home.
This has been my FAVORITE song for quite some time now but it is really my favorite now. I can listen to it all day. If you've never heard the song, you should look it up on You Tube.
Healer by Kari Jobe
You hold my every moment,
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire,
And heal all my disease
I trust in You,
I trust in You
I believe you're my Healer
I believe you are all I need
I believe
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need
You hold my every moment,
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire,
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
Lord, I trust in You
I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I BELIEVE
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
Yes you are,
Yes you are
I believe you're my portion
I believe you're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need
More than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need
You're my Healer
