We can officially move on from Ricky's parents and family. We signed the papers they wanted in agreement that no one in their family would ever contact us again. It is like we don't even exist to them. This is fantastic! It is a great feeling to have them out of our lives for good.... a relief. If only we could change our last names.
I'm excited about this year and moving on in a positive light. Our lives are full of many ups and downs with the babies and although I try to come across positive and cheerful about the babies situation, it is very hard to see each one struggle in their own ways. It is hard to see Gracie in pain all the time. It is hard to see Brody not be able to eat and we worry about his eyes and his sight daily. It is hard to see Madi not do the things a baby her age can do. It is hard to see how behind they are. Gracie not being able to lift her head or Brody for that matter. All of these things on top of the constant worry about them getting sick, even catching a minor cold. Its a tough life right now. It is hard doing this alone all day. It is heartbreaking to feel like your not measuring up to what you know they deserve. It is stressful to think we have three babies to care for at one time financially. It is stressful to worry about medical coverage, will insurance continue to cover so much? What about Gracie's $1200 helmet? Life is hard.
Not to worry because we know things will be better in the long run. We have three beautiful babies that are trying their best everyday. Gracie will be able to walk fine by the time she is 4. Brody might need glasses but so what and he will learn to eat. Madi will be crawling before we know it and Brody and Gracie will follow. I'm determined and they are determined. You will win in the end if you don't give up.
With the things going on in our lives right now, it is very much a breath of fresh air not to have to worry about Ricky's relatives anymore. I know to some it may sound harsh but you have no idea. So, we are excited to be done. Just like we slammed the NICU chapter shut, to never reopen it, We are slamming his relatives chapter shut and running full speed ahead.
To my babies:
Keep this forever as proof (but I know you will never need it).
I promise to love you everyday of my life unconditionally.
I promise to never treat you bad or as if you don't matter.
I promise I will never sue you.
I promise to never play favorites.
I promise to provide a loving home to you that is healthy and clean.
I promise I will take you to the doctor and dentist.
I promise to never be a crutch, or enabler for laziness.
I promise to push for you to do your best and reach for the stars.
I wish the best for the three of you and for happiness everyday of your life.
My hope is for you to know how much I love you... not by just words but actions too.
I promise, wish, and hope these things because you are my babies and my love is forever for each one of you. You each amaze me more everyday and I am honored to be your mom.
You are each our worlds.
We love you,
Mommy and Daddy
