WIthout you I'd survive but I'd have the notion that I could live this life just going through the motions

Um, we are just a couple weeks away from having a baby! Possibly sooner but for sure just a couple weeks! We are so excited and can't believe it's so quickly approaching. We still have a lot to do like get her dresser painted and in her room and installing her car seat but I think we are good with everything else. Ricky and I both feel like we've forgot a whole list of things to buy her but we both can't think of what it could be. I think it's just different preparing for one. It could very well be a ton of stuff we've forgot but I guess we will find out when she arrives. I have all of her things for the hospital packed. I've yet to pack my things because I refuse to buy more clothes so I wear what I have all the time. Plus, we need to get a new luggage set since ours is broken. I am extremely scared to go through the operation. I've been very sick daily with my blood pressure and the past couple nights I wake up gasping for air and my heart racing. Other times I feel pretty good other than my back injury. I'm not really driving at this point because my blood pressure has been that much of a problem. Ricky has been really great driving us where we need to go, grocery shopping, housework, etc. Madi knows changes are quickly coming. She doesn't sleep well at night in her room and ends up in our bed, on my side, holding me most nights. She talks very excitedly about Truette and being a big sissy. Brody and Gracie do as well but not in depth like Madi.
Speaking of the trio, Brody is going for a therapy evaluation tomorrow morning before school. We've got to get him and Gracie back into therapy as much as we hate to. Later in the morning Madi has an appointment with the Pediatrician. She's been complaining of her stomach hurting for a while now and her appetite has decreased recently. I hope to feel good tomorrow afternoon to get her to T ball practice that is very close to our house but won't risk it if not feeling well.
Madi's T ball game was hilarious Saturday. Friday we got Ricky a matching red shirt. She picked it out for him and it was a big deal. He helped coach with a couple other dads. She was in heaven that her daddy was out there. She hit the ball every time it was her turn but tried to retrieve her own ball or run towards the catcher. She did hit the ball for the last play that was a home run. It's the most adorable thing to see these little kids out there, uniforms bigger than they are, laughing, playing in dirt, all while playing their hearts out. And yes, she still only goes by Sissy. She was pretty over it when she got thirsty and didn't want to wear her glove or the helmet. Let's not forget she is a sassy little thing! Anyway, she has another game on Saturday we are looking forward to.
Friday we are going to check on Truette. I'm wondering what the doctor will say with everything going on. I also wonder if my appointments will start being weekly until delivery day. We are very interested to know how much she weighs. We never thought in a million years she would be this big/ I would have a baby this big!
KP

Don't Panic. It's only a test. God is with you in both the storms and the peace. Romans 8:28

My official letter from SHSU came in this week! I'll be keeping that for ever!
Tuesday I called my doctor because I've not been feeling well. She asked me to go into the hospital for some testing so we decided I would do that the next day. Wednesday rolled around and I got Brody and Gracie off to school and started towards the medical center. I had to come back home because I was so sick. Sick as in about to pass out, exhausted, can hardly function. Ricky got Brody and Gracie out of school and drove us to the hospital. The doctor had a bunch of test ordered. One was a set of blood pressure readings in different positions like laying down, standing up, sitting up, etc. We've known my blood pressure gets low. We also know I have Vasovagal Syncope (blood doesn't reach my heart and brain fast enough) what we didn't know is how low my blood pressure gets. While laying down on my side, my bp was 97 over 46. That is CRAZY low. The other issue is my heart rate goes really high which is not a good combination. This is how I nearly lost my life the day I had the triplets. The good news is all my organs are function, I'm not anemic, etc. The bad news is there isn't anything we can do to fix this because I'm pregnant. I pretty much feel really sick every day. I feel like I'm suffocating because my blood pressure being low and my heart racing plus Truette has grown into a  pretty big baby which is great but really, really hard on my body. Mix this with extreme back pain and I'm a ball of fun let me tell you.
We left after a couple hours which gave me enough time to drop Ricky off at home and drive back to the medical center for Brody's appointment. Luckily, the nurse let me reschedule Brody to go in today with Madi and Gracie. Thank goodness because I can't get far from home in case I start feeling bad. Anyway, all three of the kids had their appointment with the Endocrinologist today. She follows them to see how they are growing. The girls are doing pretty good and won't need to go back for a year. Brody on the other hand, he isn't doing well at all which we've known that. We finally have a diagnosis of failure to thrive which I've been asking to have for a while now. It's a big issue we are facing. The amount of volume he eats and drinks and to have no weight gain and growth doesn't take a rocket scientist to see there is a problem. The big problem is GI has to figure out the problem and we've gotten no where with a number of GI doctors. We've been hospitalized a number of times and GI has never helped. Anyway, after speaking with me, she is running a number of blood tests to rule out a couple of diseases. In a way, it would make it easier for something to come back in the blood work so we can somehow help him. All this ties in with Neurology, development, everything. Bottom line is we need answers.
Brody and Gracie have been in their new school almost a week now. It's been a great experience. They seem to really like it which is also a plus.
Madi had T ball practice today. The parents love her because she is so tiny but packs a dynamite personality. One parent said she tries so hard and has so much determination. She sure does! It's so cute because she hits the ball of the T and instead of running to first base, she runs to get her own ball :) The coach put the kids in two groups today. One group was working on hitting the ball while the other was working on catching and running to first base. Madi was in the hitting group. When it was her turn, she told the dad helping that she had to use her pink bat. The dad sent his kid to run get her bat but the problem was it wasn't her bat and she had to have her bat. The dad sent both to get the correct one. She ran back to inform her group she was ready now with her pink bat. It's the funniest thing ever! She is super excited because she got her team shirt and hat for their game on Saturday. The shirt comes just above her ankles! Anytime she makes a mistake like running all the bases and never touching the actual base, she says, "oh" and cracks up laughing as she does it the right way. I think she has the most fun out there.
Update soon.
KP

Working towards a dream come true!

I have been ACCEPTED to Sam Houston Sate University!!! I am beyond excited!! It was my college of choice and the only place I applied to. Our move to where we are now was also to be closer to Sam although, it's still about an hour drive one way. I applied for the fall so I could have the summer to adjust to having a newborn/ 4 kids. I have a couple classes I'm going to take this summer at the local community college to not waste anytime.
I had my baby shower for Truette on Saturday. It was really nice and peaceful. Loved every moment of celebrating our little baby's pending arrival.
Sunday I wasn't feeling well but got up early so the kids could get their Easter baskets. I went back to bed until early afternoon. This blood pressure stuff is no fun! We grilled chicken and veggies for dinner, moved the kids swing set so they could use it better, and had fun being low key.
KP

EXCITING!

Today we checked on our sweet Truette. When we arrived I wasn't feeling well but thought it was just my back hurting so bad. By the time I was in the back waiting area, I felt like I was going to pass out. The nurse checked my weight (10 pound total gain so far) and blood pressure (98/66). I didn't have a long wait at all but once I got on the table/bed thing to do the ultrasound I was pretty much out of it. I told the nurse I didn't feel well and felt like I was going to pass out so she immediately got the doctor. They had me lay on my left side and got a cold towel to put on my face. The doctor started the scan to make sure the baby was okay and I did start coming out of whatever spell I was having. By the time she was done making sure the baby was good, I was nearly back to normal. She said it was my blood pressure and that my pulse was getting back to normal. Before she left the room, she checked my pulse again and it was normal. I told her when this happens I get extremely tired and usually take a nap if I can. She said that was the best thing to do.
On with the exciting stuff!! The doctor said to me, "You've made it, Krista" because we are right at 34 weeks (officially on Saturday) which was a very big goal. She also called Truette a "chunk" and said I have a big load I'm carrying around because Truette is already 5 pounds 5 ounces! This is WONDERFUL! There were times we hoped she would be that size at a full term birth. She projected her to be 7 pounds 8 ounces at birth! She said that Truette is doing perfect and obviously she is growing perfectly. She asked if we were scheduled for delivery yet and I told her we did discuss a date last appointment but it wasn't scheduled with the hospital just her office so she told me to make sure her staff schedules it and it would probably be best to schedule in the evening. SOOOO May 21st at 6pm I am scheduled for my c section!!!! We will arrive at 4pm to do all the sign in/ surgery prep. She said I will be able to go home on Saturday and she also said that the recovery will be much easier because this time around isn't an emergency. I am really happy to hear that because I am really scared of going through that recovery again. Ricky pointed out that she did rip all 3 of the kids out in the same minute last time so that probably played into a lot of the pain. It is a HUGE relief that she is doing so well. Now it's time to practice patients like never before and wait 34 more days. If it weren't for trying to get the most out of Ricky's vacation time, her birth month and day having to equal 8 (you're welcome Ricky) I would go in to have her a week early but I'll just suffer a little longer to make those thing happen :) We have a LOT to do and buy before she arrives anyway.
Madi has her first T ball practice tomorrow. She already has her practice outfit laying on my bed ready to go. Maybe just a little excited?

KP

fresh new start

What a difference a school district makes! Today Ricky, the kids, and I met with the staff at their new elementary school. It is a night and day difference compared to Humble ISD. In fact, the school is brand new is bright and inviting. The other two schools they attended in Humble looked like a prison, was gloomy, and smelled of mold. So just walking into the front door of the new school was a great experience. The staff is hands down great! Brody and Gracie will start their new school on Monday. Madi will start school full time there next school year in the Pre K class (you have to be 4 years old). In the meantime, I hope to keep her busy in the mornings while B and G are at school. She also has T ball starting this week so she will be occupied. The only thing we will miss is Brody's vision teacher, she is such a wonderful woman and being a vision teacher is her calling, that is for sure!
This was the reason we sold our house. We wanted the kids to go to great schools in a great district. Humble ISD was not that for us. It was extremely stressful moving us being pregnant, uprooting the kids, etc. but we LOVE our new area, so excited about their school, and it's nice to have a much bigger home that is 2 years old and not 20. I've had to drive back to our old house a couple times to get mail the post office didn't transfer and it's so weird going back there. There are so many things I guess we overlooked daily. Oh well, you have to start somewhere and that was a good starter home.
We've got a hectic week ahead with doctor appointments and my baby shower on Saturday. Just a couple more weeks until Truette is here! My back can hardly wait!!

KP

I may be small, but I matter. Teach me. Love me. Believe in me. Because with your guidance, when I'm all grown up, I'm going to be someone amazing. - Sarah Wheeler

A couple weeks ago when I was in the hospital for the kidney stone, Brody's Neurology appointment fell on the day I was still there. Since we all stayed the night at the hospital, Ricky took Brody to his appointment. Ricky had never taken him to the Neurologist and of course I prepped him and made sure he knew the things to bring up, questions to ask, etc. after all, this is a very important appointment if not the most important specialist he sees. Ricky handled the appointment great but there is always so much frustration with Brody's brain and what the doctors can tell us and can't. I've not documented here in a long time about Brody's brain status for many reasons, the biggest being pesky questions that there are either not answers for or people not understanding this is a very permanent situation and handling their uneducated questions accordingly. Obviously it's a sensitive issue.
Last year we had an MRI of Brody's brain done and many tests ran. He was having seizures which were horrific and he lost a lot of things we worked so hard on him learning. He already had a harder time learning because of his brain bleeds at birth but with the seizures he had, he has never been the same. The MRI showed a lot of brain loss. The hardest question was asking if he would be a functioning adult and the answer wasn't what I was looking for which was "we hope so". A couple weeks ago we took him to his retina specialist because it was time for his yearly appointment and because I was noticing some vision changes. She said his nerves were pale in color in the retina due to his brain. It's really amazing that the entire body is affected by the brain- even things you wouldn't think.
Brody on paper and Brody you meet are two very different little boys. Brody on paper wouldn't be walking or talking. If you know Brody, you know he is a very sweet, social little guy. That is the number one reason the top Neurologist at Texas Children's can't figure out what is going on or what we should really do. Last year when we were doing all the testing, we also tested in intelligence. There were great delays but there was also another issue with attention issues due to his brain "injury". That means he doesn't have ADHD or even a diagnosis of ADD but he does have attention issues due to the parts of the brain that have been damaged by the bilateral grade III bleeds he had at birth. How this relates to real life is, we can have a conversation about going somewhere for lunch and he can tell you where we are going and be super excited to go, without skipping a beat, we can immediately ask him where we are going for lunch and he has NO CLUE where we are going. He will say "um" a million times. It's like the wheels are turning but the information isn't getting to him. This greatly affects his learning. He has zero behavior issues so he's always been passed right along as he is doing great when he really isn't learning a lot.
He always recognizes people he knows, greats them so excitedly, you know he loves them, and he will talk. He really is the sweetest little boy in the whole wide world! He can find his glasses, put them on the correct way, he can now put his shoes on, he can dress himself most of the time, and he does really well feeding himself. The part of his brain that says when you are full or not thirsty anymore is also affected. He doesn't know when to stop drinking or eating and with his stomach issues, we have to watch very closely at everything he eats and drinks or his stomach will blow up, he won't be able to breathe without it being extremely labored and him turning blue and purple, and neurologically he isn't with us when he is having these issues. This year I hope to learn more about his stomach issues. He isn't growing which is a very big issues and relates back to his brain.
This isn't even scratching the surface but since we know he won't be potty trained by age 4 or anywhere near that, our insurance will start covering his diapers. We've also ordered very high calorie Pediasure to see if we can get weight on him without causing the episodes I explained above. This is nothing we are happy about. It really sucks quite honestly but I realize things could be much worse and there are kids that have more problems. I've always been extremely goal oriented with them and that will not change. I have the highest standards for them because I want him to be socially accepted, I want him to play T ball, I want him to be successful in school, and in life. I'd rather be known as a hard parent than one who doesn't care about their kid any day.
I'm not sure what our goals are for Brody right now. I've been on the phone for hours trying to get evaluations set up and after all that is done, Ricky and I will have a really hard decision to make. We take none of this lightly. Actually it seem like the weight of the world at times. We will be starting therapy back and I hope to keep him off a feeding tube.
Also, they had a dentist appointment today and I finally feel like we have found the perfect dentist for them! Everyone had healthy teeth but the dentist told us to start a college fund and a fund for braces because all three will for sure need them. Brody and Madi will need an expander device installed at the roof of their mouths to help widen the top so there isn't so much crowding. You can literally see the tube indention at the roof of Brody's mouth from the breathing tube he had for so many months when he was born. I'm waiting on them to call me back but they want to get Brody's done sooner rather than later and Madi's done in about 6 months.
Anyway, we've always needed big prayers for Brody and it hasn't changed. We have one Healer and we do BELIEVE.

XOXO

KP

Here are a few pics :) 

These girls are ALL GIRL and handsome Brody doing his daily eye patching

I think Truette is going to come out 20 pounds 

I could watch them sleep for hours! 

Mommy and Madi didn't know the glove goes on the other hand.. oops! 

Daddy teaching Madi how to hit the ball

The day we signed her up for T ball. We had to make her where this outfit. She immediately changed into a dress when we got home. 

May 21, 2014

Is the scheduled birthday for Truette! I was hoping for May 12th only because I'm in pain with my back 24/7 but the doctor and I settled on May 21st which looking at the dates now, it is a better deal because Ricky will only have to take off 3 vacation days and have 6 days off since Memorial Day will be in the mix of that time.
Today's appointment was so cool because they were showing me her heart chambers opening and closing with each heart beat and I got to watch her practice breathing! It's so amazing! With all that excitement, I totally forgot to get her current weight, oops! She is still breach which is really great news because it helps prevent pre term labor for me. I've gained a total of 7 pounds and am pretty excited about that. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it 6 more weeks because I am sure there is no more room to grow!
My baby shower is in the works. It's happening on April 19th. I'm excited to have all the normal type experiences this go around. I keep changing my mind on having family pictures done before and after she is here. I should probably make up my mind soon. We are also starting to buy all the cute stuff for her. I bought some bows and things yesterday. Of course anytime I buy anything girly, Madi thinks she HAS to have whatever it is too.
Speaking of Madi, she is now our very first T-ball princess! She is super excited about playing but she is not happy about what she has to wear (t shirt and shorts). She begs to wear a skirt or dress. This little thing is all girl. Anyway, practice starts next week and she will have a practice every week and a game every Saturday morning. Ricky took her to get a T ball glove and a pair of athletic shoes. They are getting a T ball practice set and bat tomorrow so they can practice at home. She still wants to do gymnastics and dance but when I was calling around in our new area, I didn't find a right fit. I'm excited to see how this goes through the YMCA because they also offer dance so maybe we can try that out.
Gracie really wants to do anything Madi does and that means she wants to play T ball too but she refuses to potty train so we refuse to put her in anything. Actually, places won't accept an almost 4 year old in diapers so it's more their rules but we also tell her it's our rule too. It's beyond ridiculous she won't potty train because she knows exactly what is going on with it. It's a very frustrating topic!
We've found some land in the neighborhood we really want to be in. If we can get it for what I'm willing to pay then we will move forward but if not then whatever too.  It's so crazy people are wanting $50,000+ for 1-2 acres!
That's all for now.

KP