"When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching- they are your family." - Jim Butcher
"I got hurt. Really hurt. And sometimes when that happens, something inside me shuts off." -unknown
I've kept quiet on a couple things for several weeks now but I think it's time to add these events to the bump in our journey.
It has been 31 months since the kids were born. That is 2 years 7 months. For a brief history, the kids were born at 25 weeks. That is 15 weeks early and were critical for weeks and months. We couldn't touch the kids for the first several days of their lives, we couldn't hold them for weeks. They underwent many major surgeries and procedures. Every single day was unknown. We hoped, prayed, and worried sick about them every second of every day. Each day it was only Ricky and I. The nurses use to say all the time that we could have 3 visitors come see the kids. The kids got a total of 7 visits from "family" this includes both my family and Ricky's. Pretty freaking pathetic. Then after 5.5 long, hard, worrisome months the NICU journey finally ended and our son was the last to come home. Three days later we were sued by Ricky's family. This is after they spread rumors they later realized were untrue about Ricky and I abusing my nephew we adopted. They basically told anyone that would listen. The result, we were totally disowned by every single family member in Ricky's family.
So fast forward to the present. Ricky's parents are just "sick" about everything. It's been TEN years of his family being the most hateful people we've ever met in our lives. Not a single person has stood up for us and they've done some really just mean things for years. We are always the ones that are to blame- always. And we have always been the ones to forgive even though no one has ever apologized- ever. But we drew the line when A. no one was there for us and our kids, B. the rumors were spread about us, and C. we were sued.
As a mother I could never imagine spending the better part of ten years not in my kids' lives. It would never happen. My love for them is to strong. There is nothing in this world that could keep me away- mark my words. As a wife I would never stay married to or have my name on a law suit against one of my children. EVER. That is one thing that would end our marriage.
My question for the Patton family and grandparents, etc. is this, How has hating me and us for the past 10 years worked out for you? You will never get the past 10 years back and maybe Ricky and I appreciate time and realize how precious every day is more than each of you. If your true feelings are that you actually feel bad about what you've done to us and how you were not there, why have you not apologized? Your pride still too big? One thing I know for sure is that my kids will never be treated the way you've treated us. Never. They will never be exposed to the hate and meanness- ever. If you don't see us, communicate with us, and related to Ricky in anyway, you should examine your actions and your heart because a major apology is owed to us. Things will never be any different than they are now without apologizes. And that goes to everyone from Ricky's great grandmother on down the line to the parents. His sister has actually been the only one to apologize to us.
We live our life. We aren't the ones with regrets and tears about the situation because we've not done anything wrong. You take pictures off this blog or Christmas cards, etc because you aren't sent one. Why are you not sent pictures of our family? It's really a simple answer and you know the reason.
I'm ending with this, you each created this mess and it is not our mess to clean up. What if one of us die today, what if one or all of the babies would have died, would you be okay with yourself?
You will never meet anyone more protective of my family. I will protect Ricky, Brody, Gracie, and Madilynn with everything I have until the day I die. My focus is on these four people because they are the breath I breathe and no one will hurt them or disappoint them that should be family. And it has been proven that when the world is falling down around us, through the shattering and dust, when it's all settled, the FIVE of us will always be there for one another. That is family. That is our family.
Krista
